Saturday, September 11, 2010
Why Gossip Never Enriches Your Life
Have you ever tried demoting your self to others? I do not think a person who has a sensible mind will do that. But we do not hesitate to gossip about others. We do not give a second thought. We freely gossip about others every single moment of our lives.
You can do a search at the blogospher right now how many gossip blogs and websites: girl gossip; celebrity gossip; online gossip. It is an effortless pursuit. But it does not enrich one's life.
Togetherness At A Risk
Gossip is good only when the information creates value to either party. For example, you know there is a guy Mr Rock who is very good in attracting opposite sex. If I were to gossip about Mr Rock to another colleague(Ms Farah) of mine, then I am putting myself in a very risky situation. I have to maintain a good rapport with Ms Farah. Otherwise, she will probably disclose what I have said about Mr Rock to Mr Rock. Gossiping is a risky affair. The moment of togetherness by gossiping will be forgotten if your rapport becomes rusty with the one you have gossiped with.
You will say 'ok I will manage my rapport with all the staff and carry on with my gossiping'. Bear in mind all of us are emotional being. We judge others based on our emotion. If you are happy, the relationship will be good. Unless you ask a better questions everyday to stay happy, our rapport is guided by our emotion.
Gossiper Becomes A Ghost!
If 'A' gossip to 'B', then 'B' will have a second thought of having a transparent relationship with 'A'. This is because 'B' fears 'A' will one day gossip about 'B' to others. This is natural.
In order to have a good relationship with anyone, stay away from gossiping. It mars your character for good.
You will say you want to beat off that boredom. So start the easy way out by gossiping. But think again. If you're bored the only possible reason is that you have nothing to look forward to in life. You have no goal or goals. The antidote, therefore, is to change the way you are living. Create a goal. Perhaps you want to earn $100.000 salary per year. You can plan to buy a bigger house by the sea. You can travel with your family to all Europe by rail.
The subject and the gossiper are on the same boat
The next time you feel bored, don't kill it by gossiping. Rather find a new goal or two so that you can enrich your life by it.
The previous point and this one are quite related. If you're bored it means you have all the time in the world. But time can be spent in a positive way. Perhaps you can learn about blogs. You can learn to paint the portrait of Mona Lisa. You can learn how to write poems.
Learn something new and make it into a hobby. In this manner time is spent constructively. Gossiping is a real time waster.
Gossiping Better Than Aggression
Gossip is also a way of venting vengeance on someone by talking bad about them to others. The other party usually doesn't know that he has hurt you. If you are hurt, do something useful to patch back relationship than seeking vengeance.
Inform that person that his actions and words had caused hurt in you. He will probably think that you are the person who does not keep anything in the heart. Transparency helps to bond relationship. Be open with what you think about that person. In this way, you will have many friends and relationships. Gossiping is never better than aggression. The result of gossiping and being aggressive are the same.
Gossip Serves As Information
It is information but it is not constructive information. Information is factual and useful. Most gossip is mixed with emotion. You have to filter out the emotion from the information. Only then you will be able to take action on the facts.
Gossip can become dangerous if the affected party's values got dented in the process. The affected party can use your tactics and spoil your good name. Is it necessary?